I recently updated my about page and asked: ” Are Shadows Made Out of Atoms? ”

I understand the physical explanations of what shadows are as the absence of light. I also understand that light is made out of photons or is photons,  and that the presence of an entity means that atoms are there and are shadows really an entity when you understand all this, or a non-entity. but this is not physics class, so…

Here’s what I mean: shadows can hide, protect, cover, hinder, or provide shade. All depends on the context.

Hide cracks in the earth, the sidewalk, earthen pots, smiles, sometimes

Protect delicates from the heat of the sun

Hinder the growth of that flower you’ve been tending so hard to

Provide shade for the thirsty and weary traveller from the heat

All depends on the context.

 

But what building blocks of your person, of your journey, is hiding in the shadows of your previous glory?

This is an important question for myself, for my growth, as someone who feels like an impostor in my own skin. Like a fraudster in my achievements, and like I am being placated when I hear good news or am rewarded for my abilities.

I have not figured out a satisfactory answer that gives enough support to make me stop feeling like I have stolen from someone something irreplaceable. I’m working on it. I’m doing the things I enjoy. I am taking the time to organise my needs around my expectations and tailored towards my goals.

So are shadows made out of atoms? Are they worth enough to let go of now as a result of a momentary barrier between the light and what you have your eye set on? I guess that’s another question I’m going to need another 2.a.m angsty thought session to really examine. I’m really milking these because I only have so long till I can claim teenage angst is the reason why I’m the way that I am.

So are they?